why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
