Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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