I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
