How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
