I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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