I think my fart just growled at me.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize