I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize