I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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