I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize