the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
After last night, I could never be a politician.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So vagazzling was a success
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
