I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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