The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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