I think I am morally bankrupt
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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