these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the night ended with taco bell and tears
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
