I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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