just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Randomize
