hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
