just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
