I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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