my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
