don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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