This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize