It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
