Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
