this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
