ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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