so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
