You really coming over, don't trick.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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