I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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