Can i not drive my cunt home
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
