Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize