So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
