everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
