No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
