My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
