he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
