And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
