My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
