My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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