it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
