My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
