i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
