You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize