I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
