I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
