Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
