Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
