I wannas sexs uuuuu
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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