I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
