I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
