on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize