I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
