one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
