I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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