somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
