I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
