i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
