I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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