Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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