I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
