holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
