Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
