Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
