Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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