Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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