dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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