Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
